Dear Families

At East Woods we want every family...and everyone who loves children...to have a copy of the wonderful booklet To Bless A Child. I hope you share my amazement of all that's packed into those 45 pages! Author Roy G. Pollina an Episcopal priest, helps us to understand what a life of blessing might look like within a Christian household.

If you would like to have a copy of To Bless A Child, please let me know.

Here are my thoughts on each chapter of To Bless A Child:

Some thoughts on chapter 1…

As you read chapter 1, SPEAKING FOR GOD, here are some questions you may wish to consider:

At the time of separation from my child, what’s the difference between exchanging hugs and me pronouncing God’s gracious favor upon my child? Pollina reminds us that creation is from God, by way of God’s declaration and blessing. Offering a blessing or benediction is most simply the saying of good things-- words of goodness spoken on God’s behalf...words like:

God loves you, and I/we do, too... OR... God wants me to give you this blessing... OR ... Here's a blessing from God and me/us ... You can always add a tag line about having a great day, or helping someone else, or getting over that cold, etc.

KEEP IN MIND that as a blessing parent, you serve as God’s very human agent, AND, the blessing you give belongs first of all to God. So, blessing families share in the creative nature of God, and God’s divine nature is one of blessing, of saying good things.

God will NEVER abandon you to do this on your own.

What does God want for my family? What responsibilities do I take on when I make this commitment? What could a life of blessing mean for my household? What might it look like to my neighbors, friends and community? Polina ties these issues to Christian theology--the study of God’s relationship to the world. God is faithful, NOT because we are strong and perfect, but because we need all the help we can get.

God lays new challenges upon us to encourage us to make room for God in our daily lives.

If blessing our children would be a new dimension of life for our family, how do we broach the subject? If your children are baptized, you might describe or help them recall that event. For example, you could talk about water and what it does (makes things clean, satisfies thirst, helps us live).

You can talk about being welcomed home after school, or welcomed into someone's home or family, and how God welcomes us into God's family in baptism -- and how our presence makes God glad.

Noticing and speaking of daily blessings like water and welcoming is a good way to help your children respond to their baptism (or prepare for it)—to keep it from simply being something that happened one day at church.

If you are preparing for the Baptism of a child or youth, you might describe daily blessings as a way to help the whole family get ready to say “YES” to God’s love and inclusion in the faith community, which baptism signals.

By the way…if you would like to have your child baptized, or if your youngster has expressed a personal interest in being baptized, I encourage you to contact Pastor Bill and me so that we may enter into a time of preparation with you on behalf of the East Woods faith community.

Reflections on chapter 2

As you read chapter 2, Saying Good Words, here are some themes and questions you may wish to consider.

Pollina reminds us to place our faith and confidence In the truth that “God is always the primary actor in any blessing.” Moreover, the root of any blessing…that which makes it strong and enduring...is a faithful person's intention. In other words, when a blessing is offered, it will never fail! Your blessings are “active echoes” of God's love as that love speaks to you.

So you might wonder, What words shall I choose? Consider:

? What are your deepest desires for your child TODAY? To be safe, confident, adventurous?

? What do you want your child to be able to “hold onto” until you are once again united?

? What words does your child use when speaking about God and God's love? Not sure? ASK!

? What words or images help you describe your child's sense of belonging, joy, wonder, hope?

A blessing is a gift, especially when it becomes “the family blessing.” Your blessing can be spoken over and over again. You know how children love repetition. Familiarity can be a blessing in itself.

As you “bestow” your blessing upon your child, remember that she/he is, first and foremost, God's child! So relax and remember Pollina's reassurances: “It's not a matter of you being worthy to do a holy thing; it is a matter of saying those things that are in God's heart.”

Thoughts on Chapter 3...

In chapter 3, Words of Hope, Pollina reminds us of a stark truth we all know: the world throws a myriad of “come-ons” at our children; lies about what is important, where happiness can be found and who they should listen to and emulate; what truth is and what it is not.

“Sadly,” Pollina writes, “our children learn at a very early age that this life will include difficulty and hurt.” We have no band-aid approach to feeding a child’s soul; it is a lifestyle choice and we either chose to make it or we chose not to.

Here’s what the faith community at East Woods recognizes about families like yours:

-- You need the God we meet in Jesus Christ

-- Worship offers you spiritual nurture and God calls each of us to pray for you and offer you encouragement.

-- You need tools that concretely “vaccinate” your children “against the lies that conspire to infect them daily.”

This is why Christian Education at East Woods includes a specific “Family Ministry” focus. To Bless A Child is our gift to you, given in joyous recognition that you and your children are blessings in our midst. And as Pollina explains, “To be blessed is to expect good things in this life as well as the life to come.”

To understand all this begs some major questions.

What healthy tools do we need to place in our child’s life? Children learn with their eyes, ears, and bodies. They see, hear and experience. What makes its way onto your child’s walls and book shelves? What sounds emanate from the radio and TV? What web sites are accessible in your home? And what do your children experience from and with you? There’s no need to turn your home into a monastery. But the sights and sounds of your home need to “counter the world’s falsehood.”

What more is required of us as parents? Your littlest ones are “hard wired” for faith…that which we believe in but cannot see; the imaginary friend…the stuffed animal with a vivid sense of adventure… the favorite blanket that represents all things good. Therefore, if your day includes a talk with the unseen God, your children will happily join you and then continue the conversation on their own. When you also become the bearer of God’s blessings for your children, they will recognize God speaking through you. If you begin the discipline of blessing your children, before long they will remind you if you get too busy and forget!

Instill in your children the value of welcoming Jesus to your mealtime table. Remind them that as they close their eyes at night, God is ever-present. Give them the opportunity to be embraced regularly by the faith community. It won’t insulate them from the prevailing culture. But they will know in faith and confidence that real power is strong and deep and kind and everlasting.

Who will pick us up and dust us off when we are down? This is God’s call to faith communities like East Woods. We pray for you. We wonder how you’re doing. We make phone calls. We send notes and emails. But the only way to “incarnate” our relationship is in person. Come and be with us in worship so your children see worship practices carried out by the most important people in their lives—you.

How can we possibly instill in our children a “constant expectation of redemption”? Pollina assures us that “When parents bless a child they are conveying that their hope for the child is tied to God’s divine will that the child’s life be prosperous and happy, today and always. It’s not about keeping children in a protective bubble. It’s about helping them to know in faith what the world will never understand.

Gratitude for God’s loving grace helps us to be patient and charitable. Make sure you do the things that equip your child for a life that is good and pleasing in God’s sight. And let your faith community walk alongside you on this amazing journey.

Chapters 4-5

In chapter 4, Blessing, Not Magic, Pollina offers this encouragement: when we enter into a time of blessing our child, it’s helpful to think back on our own memories of feeling blessed. To some this may seem risky; not every Christian parent experienced moments of grace in their childhood. But now, through a believer’s lens, long forgotten words of comfort and nurture may come back to you and lead to a fuller appreciation of the act and words of blessing.

In chapter 5, Pollina writes that the best blessing is the one that says what is in your heart. You may wish to jot down these five “words” that are central to composing a blessing:

The purpose: Ask yourself: What good do I seek for the life of my child? What do I hope for TODAY? For the future? You need be specific about what you seek for your child so that you will recognize the blessing as it takes hold. As Jesus said, “Seek, and you will find.” (Matthew 7:7)

The Person of the Trinity: A blessing can call upon God, Jesus, or the Holy Spirit. Jesus taught his disciples to pray to “Our Father in Heaven.” As part of your Christian witness, you could ask a blessing from our Lord Jesus. If it is your child’s growth in faith that you wish to bless, it would be appropriate to call upon the Holy Spirit. In any event, know that you are always praying to the one God from whom all blessings flow.

Acknowledge one of God’s divine virtues: Gracious, Holy,Loving, etc. If you seek protection for your ill child, you might call upon our “Caring Father.” Whatever virtue you name, you can’t possibly make a mistake! This isn’t about stringing together the “best” words to God; but simply saying good words on God’s behalf. Connecting a divine attribute to your intention brings God more deeply into the blessing.

The Memorial: This is a bit like hearing God say, when you bless your child, do this in remembrance of me. By remembering some mighty act of God, you give your blessing permanence. On your child’s birthday, for example, you could recall the creation story or the birth of the Christ child. In this way you acknowledge that life itself is a divine act of power or graciousness.

The Conclusion: You can finish your blessing by praising God and give your child the opportunity to affirm the blessing with an Amen. That’s like saying “So be it! Absolutely! Yes!”

Remember, you may be the one who technically crafts and embodies the blessing, but it is God who makes it Holy and eternal.

Chapter 6

In chapter 6, Putting Your Blessing Together, Pollina offers a myriad of situations that lend themselves to a blessing. Let’s make a game of it!

As quickly as you can, write down 5 “firsts” that your child has experienced so far this year…you can do it! In fact, I’ll bet you can recall 5 happy “firsts” and 5 sad “firsts.” You’re not looking for momentous, earth-shattering occasions; remember that life is made up of little things of great importance.

Next, write down your “default” hopes, dreams or prayers…the ones that keep coming to mind when you think of your child as he or she goes off to begin the day. With just a minor tweaking, they become a blessing—a joint-venture between you and God.